I have not had enough time as of lately to dedicate myself to this blog more formally. I intend to, as soon as I can turn my still "re-adapting" stage into a somewhat stable lifestyle. In the meantime, I will dwell in thoughts that come both as a result of the migrating I have done, but also from a place where ghosts come to life. All those good byes we experienced, cut paths which no longer continue struggle in company nonetheless continue to exist separately. how? where did they turn? All those good-byes that happened in so many instances, closing doors and opening new ones. Yet, we look back at that snapshot of the moment where we split ways. Here is to that wondering about the places and people we leave behind when we are at the gate of something new.
Love, sometimes I can only think of our last kiss in our front door.
The cab drove away and I sobbed all the way to that small airport, through customs, and when we all boarded on that flight to Amsterdam.
We parted ways, once in the heart of Barcelona. One of many good byes.
The last time I said good bye to you it was on the streets of London,
We said we'd try it all one last time,
and then there were oh so many silences.
And in between: all those borders, all those years,
subway stations, airports, trains, buses, all those tickets marking a route that finally split.
where are you now, my dear?
Did you get married and had kids? Was the cake just marvelous and her dress blew everyone's mind?
Did you have that awesome gay wedding or were you so anti-establishment that your promises were made over Judith Butler's Gender trouble?
Did you thrive professionally or did you stagnate? Or did you launch a freelance career and have you now gone viral?
Are you dating less of a drunk, less of a smoker, less of a fucked up girl? Well, isn't that nice.
Are you looking into in vitro or did you prefer to save up for that 6 month trip throughout South Saharan Africa?
Do you think of me, of us so long ago? Of us had it all gone differently, had I been less mobile, had we been a little bit more perfect?
Are you lonely, stuck or in crisis? Or are you thriving in parenthood, or perhaps in an everlasting chaotic bachelor's life? Are you just watching the days go by, like me, waiting for something else, anything, to come your way?
Has age caught up with you? Did you sign up for yoga, start running marathons, decrease your lager intake? or are you just letting smoke carve your wrinkles deeper?
do you go home to your babe? to a bed for two, dinner for two, sleep for two? Do you Netflix together? thats a yes, i bet, all couples do.
I'm alone, my love. Staring at those gates in all those airports, where I said good bye to you. Staring at those rails, at those bought tickets when instead of staying I packed it all up and left.
do you even think of me…
people have stared at me so many times in flights. they must think i am suicidal or just plain dramatic. I cry next to them, silently, mourning the life I left, staring out the window watching packets of clouds go by, in between, stuck nowhere.
And the sky stares back, empty and clear reflecting nothing but the distance that has started to grow between us.
Love, sometimes I can only think of our last kiss in our front door.
The cab drove away and I sobbed all the way to that small airport, through customs, and when we all boarded on that flight to Amsterdam.
We parted ways, once in the heart of Barcelona. One of many good byes.
The last time I said good bye to you it was on the streets of London,
We said we'd try it all one last time,
and then there were oh so many silences.
And in between: all those borders, all those years,
subway stations, airports, trains, buses, all those tickets marking a route that finally split.
where are you now, my dear?
Did you get married and had kids? Was the cake just marvelous and her dress blew everyone's mind?
Did you have that awesome gay wedding or were you so anti-establishment that your promises were made over Judith Butler's Gender trouble?
Did you thrive professionally or did you stagnate? Or did you launch a freelance career and have you now gone viral?
Are you dating less of a drunk, less of a smoker, less of a fucked up girl? Well, isn't that nice.
Are you looking into in vitro or did you prefer to save up for that 6 month trip throughout South Saharan Africa?
Do you think of me, of us so long ago? Of us had it all gone differently, had I been less mobile, had we been a little bit more perfect?
Are you lonely, stuck or in crisis? Or are you thriving in parenthood, or perhaps in an everlasting chaotic bachelor's life? Are you just watching the days go by, like me, waiting for something else, anything, to come your way?
Has age caught up with you? Did you sign up for yoga, start running marathons, decrease your lager intake? or are you just letting smoke carve your wrinkles deeper?
do you go home to your babe? to a bed for two, dinner for two, sleep for two? Do you Netflix together? thats a yes, i bet, all couples do.
I'm alone, my love. Staring at those gates in all those airports, where I said good bye to you. Staring at those rails, at those bought tickets when instead of staying I packed it all up and left.
do you even think of me…
people have stared at me so many times in flights. they must think i am suicidal or just plain dramatic. I cry next to them, silently, mourning the life I left, staring out the window watching packets of clouds go by, in between, stuck nowhere.
And the sky stares back, empty and clear reflecting nothing but the distance that has started to grow between us.
